I'm Gutted!

Hey.

As many of you know Robyn my wife is chronically ill, with a back lower back pain. We saw the surgeon recently and had a date confirmed for an operation. It was to be the 24th May 2007.

We went to the pre-admission clinic yesterday. It was a long process, but helpful. Robyn mentioned to me that it had finally sunk in, the operation was going to happen. It was also a long day. Nepean Hospital is quite a distance from the Central Coast.

However, today we got some news we didn't expect. I just returned from a positive meeting from Gorokan High School about the possibility of starting a lunchtime Christian Group. It was great! Praise God! But I returned to find a message on the answering machine. I had to call the surgeon's office. Robyn's op had been moved as of this morning to occur on the 14th of June. That's another 3 weeks away.

We'd got everything sorted. I worked out where I was going to stay, what I was going to do for work during that time. It was all planned. But that's all had to change.

Both of us are pretty gutted. Pretty down, because this has been a hard year for Robyn especially. And I hate seeing my wife, whom I love suffer like this. As her husband I wish I could just take it all away. I hate the fact that I can't fix this. It pains my heart to know that I can't do a thing, except continue to support and care for my wife.

I also struggle Christianly. And in these times, I need the constant reminder of God's goodness and love for me and Robyn. I need to know the peace God gives in knowing he is in control of all things. But it's hard. I mean, I cried today. I sat back and let the tears flow. It's hard.

So I need the truth of the word of God. I need to be reminded, so I'll continue to trust, even in the hard times. I need to continually cry out to God to help us, to strengthen us in Him, and to help us persevere, because I know that I can't do this on my own.

May God give us his peace. May he equip us to keep going, that we might be to the praise of his glory. May we always be growing in our trust and love of him, who has given us every spiritual blessing in Christ. Even in this hard time may he be our source of joy! Amen

My earnest heart's desire

My earnest heart's desire
is to ponder only him;
to pant, thirst and hunger,
for the only King.

Jesus is this one
who my body longs for,
whose glory I will gaze at
for all eternities draw.

By faith I see him only
in my present body state.
A glimpse of his glory,
is all I am able to take.

But I know this not
will always be the case.
For the promise of Heaven,
is that I'll see his face.

My body transformed
from a corrupted being.
It will be glorious
to look upon the one true King.

No longer groaning,
will my body be.
But seeing, savouring, delighting
in only He.

By Ben Waters April 2007